My heart is pounding so hard I can't breathe
The audience claps loudly
I know it's my turn next
I start to feel like I'm going to faint
I start to hope I will
My hands are shaking so hard...will I be able to play?
I sit down on the bench. I still can't breathe
Everyone is staring at me
What if I mess up?
I think I'll die if I do
I want to run away
I try to beat my fear
I picture everyone in their underwear but the image is shaking worse than my hands
I want to die right now
I began to play
I miss a note and my heart misses a beat
I miss another one
What if I forget my song?
I forget what comes next
I play the same line again then my fingers remember what my blank mind doesn't
The song goes on, even though I miss another note
I finish, shaking all over
Will I be able to stand up?
I forget to bow, but my face is burning and I run down the steps to my seat
My hands shake for days afterwords, but I did it.
I try to forget I'll have to do it all again next recital at Christmas