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March 28, 2011
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My heart is pounding so hard I can't breathe

The audience claps loudly

I know it's my turn next

I start to feel like I'm going to faint

I start to hope I will

My hands are shaking so hard...will I be able to play?

I sit down on the bench. I still can't breathe

Everyone is staring at me

What if I mess up?

I think I'll die if I do

I want to run away

I try to beat my fear

I picture everyone in their underwear but the image is shaking worse than my hands

I want to die right now

I began to play

I miss a note and my heart misses a beat

I miss another one

What if I forget my song?

I forget what comes next

I play the same line again then my fingers remember what my blank mind doesn't

The song goes on, even though I miss another note

I finish, shaking all over

Will I be able to stand up?

Barely

I forget to bow, but my face is burning and I run down the steps to my seat

My hands shake for days afterwords, but I did it.

I try to forget I'll have to do it all again next recital at Christmas
Okay, I've never done poetry before, so I'm not sure if I did this right or not. Believe it or not, my hands were actually shaking as I typed this. I have really, really bad stage fright. I've tried everything, and even though I know it doesn't matter, the people will forget about this in a few days, I want to die. Or something. I play piano, and this is at one of my recitals. My teacher makes us memorize our songs, and I always forget.
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:iconsampea:
sampea Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
I don't really know how to help, but how about imagining you're playing to someone you really like, and that it's only him or her who is there? At least, that works for me. Or maybe, just try to 'loose yourself'' in the song you're playing, as if you were waltzing with it?
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:iconxzendor7:
xzendor7 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011   Digital Artist
Anyone Who Has Done A Live Performance, Especially A Solo Performance Has Had Similar Experience.

Had The Same Jitters When I Use To Play Piano And Horn

But As Day Say Practice Makes Perfect And The More You Do It The Less Of A Stress it Becomes.

Nicely Written
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:iconkokorojunnaya:
KokoroJunnaya Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
Thanks! I appreciate you reading it! :D
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:iconmagpiecatso:
MagpieCatso Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
I had piano recitals like that and I hated them so much. I felt just like you did. Once I was reading an essay and I was so near fainting. My jaw twitches like crazy and my heart just goes insane.

It sucks so much to have stage fright. Conquer your fear!!
I'm getting better now (I made myself try out in a play, and I got the part O.O) so you can too!!!
:hug:

This poem really made me recall all those feelings....
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:iconkokorojunnaya:
KokoroJunnaya Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
I'll try! Thanks for reading my poem! I appreciate it! :aww:
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:iconyourlittlebassoonist:
yourlittlebassoonist Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2011
I love the bit "I start to feel like I'm going to faint / I start to hope I will." As a musician, I totally know how that is. But stage fright starts to go away after a little bit. Just pretend you're practicing at home and get into the groove of your piece. anyway, nice job for a first poem! :D
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:iconkokorojunnaya:
KokoroJunnaya Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2011
Thanks! I appreciate that! :D And I've been playing for five years, and I still have stage fright. Maybe this year I'll try the underwear thing. :aww:
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:iconyourlittlebassoonist:
yourlittlebassoonist Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
The underwear trick never worked for me.... My weakness is auditions. I suppose because I'm always with an ensemble, I've never really gotten paralyzed by a performance. However, my auditions can pretty much be defined by this poem XD
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:iconkokorojunnaya:
KokoroJunnaya Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
:D
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:iconmylifeisaveragestill:
MyLifeisAverageStill Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I have something similar to stage fright. Its the fear of stage fright. See I get nervous and dont want stage fright, am pretty much scared of it, then I end up completely losing it.
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